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LariLee's Hutch

Jun. 15th, 2014 11:39 pm NEWS!!!

I honestly don't know if anyone would be that interested, but I just sent the following message to all the Yahoo fan groups:

Betas NeededCollapse )

I finally have a computer that can handle Dragon NaturallySpeaking. I finally have time again. The plot bunnies have come out of hiding, a trifle dusty but tails twitching. And tonight, my Muse showed up, smelling of sex, then slammed a bottle of rum on my nightstand and said, "Let's do this, bitch!"

I really owe it to a negative review I got. I've reread the story in question and the strangest thing happened – it was better than I remembered. For once, I didn't let one bad review makes me question my ability to tell stories.Am I the greatest writer ever? Oh, hell no! Am I the greatest fanfiction writer ever? Again, hell no! But it is a solid story and one worth finishing.

And I'm going finish them. All of them. Though God help us all if I have to beta read them myself.

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Mar. 1st, 2014 12:38 am Bimonthly check in

Hello, good people!

Still futzing around with my laptop. I think it's demon possessed.

Earlier this month, I lost my cousin. At least the family let me know about it… I got to be the one to go to the nursing home and tell mom. Then we got 5 inches of snow/ice/crud and I missed the memorial service.

I feel very sorry for my aunt, because she's lost both her children now. And, I believe there may be some resentment too. After all, I'm the one who has so many health problems I could be a Lifetime movie of the week. My kidneys are going, I've already had one stroke, I've lost a leg and I'm in a wheelchair, and the list goes on. Packman, Who rode his bike all over this country and parts of Europe, has been hit by car three times, and even though he's a quadriplegic – he is still breathing.

On March 24, Mom turns 90. But I do have a good idea for her present this year. She misses Gracie, my Chihuahua – poodle mix who is also known as Heathen Butt. Because Gracie is so high strung, another term for barks incessantly, taking her to the nursing home is really an option. But I found out that you could have a photograph transferred onto a woven tapestry. So I'm hoping to get a good picture of her to put on a tapestry with "Gracie Love Grandma!" Mom can at least cuddle with her.

Nearly 4 weeks ago, people thought I was overdramatic when I said we should shoot the groundhog. Anybody think I'm being overly dramatic now? I've been housebound quite a bit this month. And we're going to get hit by freezing rain/sleet/snow yet again Monday. I guess I would be housebound anyway, my fibromyalgia is very much out of remission, and I'm feeling every ounce of pain my body can produce.

As practice for writing, I'm actually doing a Hunger Games FanFiction. It surprises me that I could write any body but Snape. For some reason a sarcastic, bitter, possibly evil character is very easy for me to Channel. I really wish I could write Tyrion Lannister. He has actually usurped Snape's place is my favorite character. But Game of Thrones is something I like to read and to watch. Harry Potter claimed my imagination and brought me into the world as a participant, whereas with GoT makes me an observer.

So, just to let people know, I'm still in the land of the living. I'm still trying to write. Once I get a chapter or two written, then I'm going to have to try and find beta readers. One who can put up with Dragon Naturally speaking. Or, considering, maybe two or three. :-)


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Feb. 14th, 2014 10:39 pm Trying to hold back my excitement…

I'm trying hard not to be excited. After 16 months of being practically computerless, I might have my computer back and my Dragon Speech.

The reason I'm holding back my excitement and trying not to get my hopes up is because of the constant roller coaster this has been. Seriously, every time I thought I was taking that final step to get my computer fixed, something else happened. I don't know how many of my files Packman actually copied over, but even if I lost everything, I think I can retrieve most of it.

The greatest thing though, is that I get my Dragon Naturally Speaking back. I CAN WRITE AGAIN!! Now I'm struck with the fear that whatever spark of storytelling I had is gone.

I loaned out my Microsoft Word disks, But I should have that back Monday.

I'm just praying nothing else goes wrong with it. Hugs to you all! I'm still in a very happy mood. Packman actually seems willing to buy me a computer next quarter if all else fails. Now, I have to admit, he is slow in doing things. So there is hope I will be writing sooner or later! I had to give it up because mom needed so much care. I also gave up Beta reading because I just couldn't keep my mind focused.

In Louisville, we're still snowed in. I had about a week where I could not physically get out of the house because the front door was Snowed in and iced over and could not be opened. Thank God Mary has come to our rescue in so many ways. There are so many people I am so grateful to and for. I think I'm going to hug my dogs and give them kisses. I'm just so happy and I'm trying hard not to be. :-)

Wish me luck!


Current Location: Home
Current Mood: jubilant and trying hard not to be
Current Music: whatever is playing on the TV.

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Jan. 23rd, 2014 06:19 am Productivity at Last!

I think everyone knows I've been sick for the last few years. And I hate to admit it, but my house does look like something that could be featured on one of those Hoarders programs.

It's for a number of reasons…

to begin with, my parents were born in the 1920s.Collapse )

I'm posting on my brothers iPhone. The voice recognition software is pretty decent, but I know there are some mistakes in this post. Please disregard them.

It's hard for me to reply to comments. But I do love getting them! I sometimes feel like I faded away and nobody remembers me. But I'm coming back!


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Jan. 10th, 2014 04:48 am Return to the Living?

Sorry to have disappeared yet again.

I've been in a… Blah state? So, I did my usual thing, pulled in and analyzed my feelings. Blech.

Part of it, I think, is feeling a lot of guilt still for mom being in the nursing home. It's not just that I feel I failed her, but it's also guilt over the pleasure I feel when I start doing an activity I gave up to care for her.

Besides writing, which I miss terribly, I used to do things. I did a lot of flower gardening. I love to cook and make candy to give to people. I used to make jewelry. I used to crochet. And I read nearly constantly.

In all fairness, I gave up a lot of activities because I just didn't have the physical stamina to do it and care for both mom and David. And because of the neuropathy. I just didn't have the energy to make the necessary adjustments to keep on doing things I love.

I quit going out. I was a zoo member and went at least once a week. I had to stop that because I had to be home to care for mom. David is really cool about me going out. As long as he has his necessities, he'll call me or text me if there's a problem. But mom… If she wasn't in her right mind, she could injure herself quickly. And when she was in her right mind, she was afraid for me to leave. So no church, no bingo, no movies, no hitting the bars, no lectures, I think you get the picture.

In truth, it bothered me a little bit, still glad to do it to help mom. Now I feel guilty to be doing this stuff. Okay, I know it's stupid… Intellectually, I know it's stupid. I still feel that way.

I'm definitely coming to terms with it… FINALLY!

I have actually been getting some good sleep lately. Yes, another thing to feel guilty over. But after the last couple years of sleep deprivation, you have no idea how much I needed it.

So I had a dream last night about a voodoo queen and her modern day descendent. The deals with the moral question of when is the right time to do something bad. Can you do something morally reprehensible for the greater good? And what is the greater good? Is it, could it be, just something that you really want?

Being of sound mind, I immediately told it to David. He actually seemed impressed by it. Told me to write it down and then outline it right into a story. And I explained that with my hands is screwed up as they are, I can't right. Long story short, ("Too late!" cries the Fearless Reader) He said to get my computer fixed so I can use my Dragon Naturally Speaking again.

I can return to writing! And there was great rejoicing… Which I started to feel guilty about. :-)

Look out fandom Look out world!


Current Location: US, Kentucky, Louisville/Jefferson County metro government (balance), Jefferson, Lower Hunters Trce, 1906

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Nov. 18th, 2013 04:09 pm

Well, i'm alive. I still don't have a computer that can handle Dragon naturally speaking, But David's cell phone has a voice to text application. It's kind of a pain in the butt to correct, So please pardon any mistakes.

I'm trying to learn how to walk on the prosthetic leg. It's also a pain in the ass. I just wish someone could tell me that one day I be able to walk on it without every step being excruciatingly painful. All the physical therapist say, "It Will get a little better."

I was hoping for something a little more… Positive?

My aunt and I had a major falling out. Mom has been in a nursing home since practically last Thanksgiving. I took her some family pictures, including pictures of her parents. I told my aunt I made copies for her, her daughter, and her grandchildren. Now being in a wheelchair, I don't get out much. My aunt, instead of coming over here and picking up the copies, Took my mother's pictures. Mom was very upset and almost immediately got sick and went into the hospital. There, she begged me, tearfully begged me, to take all the rest of the family photos home. She said that people get jealous if you have something they want, and they'll steal it.

I could've taken one of the copies up to mom, but I had no frame and a couple weeks went by before I could see her again. During that time the car broke down. I couldn't get out to get any picture frames. And I felt my aunt should be honorable and return the pictures without getting nagged into it. So I didn't call my aunt, because I didn't want to bitch at her. During that time, she was pulling out of the parking space and thought her car was in reverse and, oopsie, it was in drive. The car was totaled, but she walked away relatively unscathed. She called and told David, Primarily because I was avoiding her, but she didn't say to have me call her back. So I didn't.

Move ahead a couple weeks, and my mother called from the nursing home. She wanted me to come get her because my cousin was in ICU on life support. For someone my aunt continually says has Alzheimer's, She got the details remarkably fine. My uncle had visited her the day before with two of his grandchildren and told her that then. My aunt didn't call because she's mad at me for getting upset over the pictures.

Isn't there a family rule somewhere that states when someone is nearly dead, you put old arguments aside. Suppose my mother had died and I didn't bother to tell her about it? So, even though we are all making nice now, I'm still a little pissed.

Maybe more than a little.

My cousin has a cancerous tumor at her throat. With chemo and radiation, and possibly surgery, she should make a full recovery. So that's good news. She is currently recuperating at my aunt and uncles house and even though she has a trach and a G-tube, she's up and about and basically self-care. When I talk to my aunt last, she told me she was exhausted and said, "You do not know how hard it is to take care of someone."

Nope. I wouldn't have a freaking clue.

Try taking care of two people who are bedbound. And one of those has no control over bowel or bladder - and guess which one has diarrhea? Now, do that on crutches with a badly infected foot, Kidney stones and the fatigue of fibromyalgia. Add into that a few other conditions and symptoms. Then talk to me about how hard it is to take care of someone.

On the bright note, I have a guardian angel after all. She sent me Mary. Mary's been helping get the house in order and take me to PT and David to his various doctors visits. In the meantime, she works on the house. The kitchen is about 97% done. I don't mean cleaned, though it is clean, but organized to my specifications. Most of the major repairs have been completed. And I have hopes for the living room and the dining room.

The Social Security determination and eligibility board once again deemed me eligible for "significant" work. However, they did make the mistake of stating that they upheld the 2002 decision that my previous job was beyond my ability and that I'm no longer capable of doing it. My previous job was working in group health, and working on the phone and the computer. What work could be less strenuous? Speedbump? Pot hole filler? Doormat? So I have an attorney who finds the whole process amusing. He is supposed to be the best in this area. here's to hoping.

There's so much more I want to say, but I'm afraid my battery is going. I've missed LiveJournal and my friends here and wonder if one day I'll ever be allowed to finish any of my writings? I've got two original stories brewing and I've been tempted to write a short piece on the zombie apocalypse. Giving it my usual spin.

I've got to let my neighbors three Legged cat out so he can greet his girl. That is a story in itself. All I have to do now is to master the application for LiveJournal. And I'm on Facebook.

Sometimes, it was the thought of getting back in touch with all my friends, that made these past few months worth living. Consider yourselves touched.

Uh, But not in an inappropriate way. :-)


Current Location: US, Kentucky, Louisville/Jefferson County metro government (balance), Jefferson, Lower Hunters Trce, 1906

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Dec. 22nd, 2012 04:24 am Congratulations!

Congratulations, everyone for surviving the apocalypse!


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Dec. 10th, 2012 04:26 am Finally...

After fighting foot infections and losing my big toe, I finally lost the left leg. I am trying to adjust to life as an amputee, but it has only been two weeks. I was do.ing well until I got overconfident and fell Friday. Worst part of all is that I can't take care of Mom, so she is in a nursing home. I am trying to look to the positive which means. I'll have time to do things I like... like writing.

Maybe I've acted too well in front of the extended family... no flowers or cards or kudos... in fact, they are upset I cannot wash my mother's clothes (much less my own) but as I explained, the washer and dryer are in the basement

Tags: , ,

Current Location: wheelchair in Louisville
Current Mood: tired and down
Current Music: The Cosby Show on TV

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Dec. 6th, 2012 06:29 pm Finally...

As some of you know, I've had persistent problems with my left foot for over two years. After a bad accident last September, a bad infection set in almost two weeks ago. A week ago Monday, it went into my bone.

They amputated my leg that evening. Mom was admitted that day too (copycat :-D). She was placed in a nursing home as I could no longer care for her at home. I came home last Friday and am in a wheelchair. In a few months, I'll get a prosthetic leg.

My computer is down and should be fixed ion a a couple of weeks... I hope. I am writing on a Kindle Fire (long story there) and typing one letter at a time and am tired after my PT. But the good new is that I should be having some time to write! I want to finish up my stories and try some original stuff that refuses to leave my head.

I would love some happy thoughts, well wishes and prayers. Depression keeps hunting me.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: trying hard
Current Music: dog snoring

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Jul. 16th, 2010 03:30 pm

Well, I'll be having a stay at Club Norton Audubon. I'll be heading there in a few minutes and it's serious. I've been writing out instructions for Mom's and David's care, explaining what the dogs (Gracie and Bette, I love having dogs-as-in-plural) need and explaining that Woe-Be Cat won't be that happy any way. Hey, she's a cat.\

I've been begging favors from my aunt (my uncle had a cornea transplant Wednesday, so I have a lot of balls asking them for assistance), my friend, and my good neighbors (not to be confused with the other neighbors whom I don't know that well.

Anyways, please keep sending the happy feelings. I appreciate them all.


Current Location: On my way to Norton Audubon
Current Mood: Terrified
Current Music: The throbbing of my foot

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